Berkdeep's Birthday Today!!!

I almost started writing this one at 4am after a night of open bars and many o' smoke sesses starting at the Osiris video premier, to Nike Charles Barkley 25th Air Force Anniversary, to Quy's homey's house, and back home.......but it's a good thing I didn't...I might have randomly ran on about nothing.

Let's bring it back to Berke, by far one of my favorite people on this earth!! The guy my parents love and the people of Windsor are still looking for. The guy that takes meticulous 20 minute showers almost every day and then goes two weeks without one...uggghhhhhhh! He'll kick over garbage cans by night and cook you breakfast by morning. He might have been the first person I knew to play 36 chambers, he can tell you what skater skated to what song in any video ever made, he's got a mean motor boat, rolls a meaner blunt, he can't drive in the snow, and he drives real slow. The man on the grill and behind the grill, The Assaultin of Altan, The Iron Sheik, Berke the Turk, BERKDEEP..................drum roll please.................Berke Altan.

I would love nothing more than for everyone to share a Berke story below. Let me start us off...this is gonna be an Omer story, you better get comfortable....


So, quite a few years ago (me and time don't get along so well) a bunch of us decided to go to Windsor for some drinks and good times. It was Berke, Bill, Bill's girl "whats her name?", Lance, Jamie, Myself, and probably someone I forgot. It wasn't later than midnight when Berke had already tossed a pitcher into the middle of the dance floor...or should I say, when BERKDEEP tossed a pitcher into the middle of the dance floor. Somehow we weren't kicked out, which gave us all time to consume some more. Bill took off with "what's her name?" on a walk that started around 1am and was still going when we got kicked out of the bar around 2. We hadn't been standing outside longer than a couple minutes before Berke starts trying to tip anything and everything in his way. The best part was that he didn't want to give up on trying to tip this newspaper dispenser that was BOLTED to the ground. I told Lance and them to go ahead and go home, not having a clue what was in store...

Berke and I don't make it much farther than literally right across the street when I sense the need to turn around and Berke's got a folding chair cocked all the way back, about to put it through this cars windshield. Luckily I was quick enough to grab it out of his hands before he did. Thinking we were good to go now, I shake my head and start walking. Next thing I know, I turn around to find Berke fully cocked back with a big ass bottle (like a forty or wine bottle) and it's too late.......

He throws the bottle right into the windshield destroying it. Mind you, we haven't made it passed the bar. We are literally directly across the street. Luckily there was no one around so I grab Berke and start speed walking to put some distance between us and the crime scene. Non of this stopped Berke from kicking and tipping over EVERYTHING in his site...EVERYTHING. We eventually find Bill somewhere and despite hearing what had happened and it being well after 2am, he's tunnel visioned on spending more time with this girl...whatever. We end up going to another bar for a bit, which proved to be a great idea since Berke obviously needed to have another drink and spend some more time in public. Not only that, Bill decides the night is still not over and that he wants to go to the casino now too.

On the way Berke doesn't slow down his mission to leave no upright standing objects on the streets of Windsor. Bill and "what's her name?" dissapear soon as we get to the Casino and I, being broke and annoyed, end up aimlessly watching some old Canadians play poker at 3-somethin' in the morning. Berke told me he was gonna find Bill and "WHN?" so I just chilled. A good 15 minutes later I decide to find everyone and can't find ANYONE. I weaved in and out of every aisle before finally finding Bill and WHN? I told Bill about Berke missing, but he wasn't interested or concerned. I did another 15 minute search before coming back to Bill and asking him to help. After we all searched for a bit longer, I finally asked a security guard if he'd seen Berke and he told me he kicked him out TWICE (Once with his sweatshirt and once without. Good disguise Berke!).

So, we start our search for Berk-chin, which luckily wasn't too hard. We just had to follow the trail of tipped over things in the streets. We finally find Berke stumbling around and get him home.

HERE IS THE BEST PART OF THE STORY.....

The next day, I'm talking to Berke and just for kicks I ask him what the worse thing he did was... After thinking about it for a while, he hesitantly, but sincerely says, "Oh yeah, I threw a pitcher in that bar didn't I?" HA!!! That's when I got to tell HIM the story.

For one of the nicest, gentlest guys I may ever know, Berke can be a MONSTER!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BROTHA!! LOVE YA!!